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12 Things You Should Never Ever Say To A Shy Person

The shy people of the world want you to know they aren’t all miserable and mean as some people tend to believe. Being shy and reserved can be tough when people jump to conclusions about you and often unintentionally make you feel uncomfortable. Here’s what you should never ever say to a shy person.

Being shy in a world of extroverts isn’t always easy, which is why we’ve created a guide of what not to say!

Avoid saying these 12 things to shy people

Don't make shy people feel uncomfortable and follow our top tips on how to act around shy people.


‘You are very quiet’

There’s no need to point out just how quiet and discreet shy people are. Bringing their shyness up won’t help them come out of their shell.


‘Express yourself a little more’

It may come from a good place, but telling a shy person to express their opinions more will only cause more frustrations. Shy people can offer their points of view and will do so when they feel like it.

‘Speak up, I can’t hear you’

There is nothing more frustrating than in a shy person’s life than being told to speak up. Hearing you are inaudible will only cause a series of blushes.

‘Get involved a bit more’

Shy people tend to sit back in a group situation, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t involved in important decision making. Being an important part of a group doesn’t mean you have to talk constantly.

‘We don’t feel like we know who you are’

Comments like this can be seriously hurtful for shy people, who by the way often try their hardest to break down barriers and reveal who they really are.


‘Don’t be afraid’

Just because someone isn’t a chatty Cathy, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are scared to speak up. Making careless assumptions like shy people are afraid is exactly that… careless.

‘How’s your love life going?’

Asking a shy person how their love life is going is hugely embarrassing for them and definitely won’t help them open up more, it will probably have exactly the opposite effect.

‘Look me in the eye’

Shy people don’t want to be treated like children and forced to do things that may make them feel uncomfortable.

‘Try to get out a bit more’

Just because someone is shy, it doesn’t mean they are a huge loner with absolutely no social life whatsoever.


‘Loosen up’

Let’s get things straight, shy people are totally sick of hearing that they need to relax and loosen up.

‘Are you sad about something?’

Shyness cannot be put down to people being sad, there is literally no correlation between being sad and being shy.

‘I thought you were really mean at first’

Jumping to assumptions about shy people is never a good idea and could totally shut them down. Concluding that someone is mean just because they aren’t brimming with conversation is way of the mark.


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